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Tortoise: Do you remember one day when you and I met in the park, seemingly at
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random?
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Achilles: The day we discussed crab canons by Escher and Bach? Tortoise: The very one!
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Achilles: And Mr. Crab, as I recall, turned up somewhere towards the middle of our
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conversation and babbled something funny and then left.
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Crab: Not just "somewhere towards the middle", Achilles. EXACTLY in the middle.
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Achilles: Oh, all right, then.
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Tortoise: Do you realize that your lines were the same as my lines in that conversation-
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except in reverse order? A few words were changed here and there, but in essence
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there was a time symmetry to our encounter.
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Achilles: Big Deal! It was just some sort of trickery. Probably all done with mirrors.
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Tortoise: No trickery. Achilles, and no mirrors: just the work of an assiduous Author.
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Achilles: Oh, well, it's all the same to me.
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Tortoise: Fiddle' It makes a big difference, you know.
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Achilles: Say, something about this conversation strikes me as familiar. Haven't I heard
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some of those lines somewhere before= Tortoise: You said it, Achilles.
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Crab: Perhaps those lines occurred at random in the park one day, Achilles. Do you recall
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how your conversation with Mr. T ran that day?
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Achilles: Vaguely. He said "Good day, Mr. A" at the beginning, and at the end, I said,
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"Good day, Mr. T". Is that right
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Crab: I just happen to have a transcript right here ...
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(He fishes around in his music case, whips out a sheet, and hands it to Achilles. As
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Achilles reads it, he begins to squirm and fidget noticeable.)
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Achilles: This is very strange. Very, very strange ... All of a Sudden, I feel sort of-weird.
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It's as if somebody had actually planned out that whole set of statements in advance,
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worked them out on paper or something . As if some Author had had a whole agenda
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and worked from it in detail in planning all those statements I made that day.
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(At that moment, the door bursts open. Enter the Author, carrying a giant
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manuscript.)
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Author: I can get along very well without such a program. You see, once my characters
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are formed, they seem to have lives of their own, and I need to exert very little effort
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in planning their lines.
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Crab: Oh, here you are!' I thought you'd never arrive!
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Author: Sorry to be so late. I followed the wrong road and wound up very far away. But
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somehow I made it back. Good to see you again, Mr. T and Mr. C. And Achilles, I'm
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especially glad to see you.
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Achilles: Who are you? I've never seen you before.
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Author: I am Douglas Hofstadter-please call me Doug-and I'm presently finishing up a
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book called Godel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid. It is the book in which
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the three of you are characters.
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Achilles: Pleased to meet you. My name is Achilles, and-
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Author: No need to introduce yourself, Achilles, since I already know you quite well.
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Achilles: Weird, weird.
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Crab: He's the one I was saying might drop in and play continuo with us.
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Author: I've been playing the Musical Offering a little bit on my piano at home, and I can
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try to blunder my way through the Trio Sonata providing you'll overlook my many
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wrong notes.
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Tortoise: Oh, we're very tolerant around here, being only amateurs our selves.
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Author: I hope you don't mind, Achilles, but I'm to blame for the tact that you and Mr.
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Tortoise said the same things, but in reverse order, that day in the park.
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Crab: Don't forget me' I was there, too right in the middle, putting in my two bits' worth!
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Author: Of course! You were the Crab in the Crab Canon.
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Achilles: So you are saying you control my utterances;, That my brain is a software
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subsystem of yours?
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Author: You can put it that way if you want, Achilles.
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Achilles: Suppose I were to write dialogues. Who would the author of them beg You, or
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me?
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Author: You, of course. At least in the fictitious world which you inhabit, you'd get credit
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for them.
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Achilles: Fictitious? I don't see anything fictitious about it!
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Author: Whereas in the world I inhabit, perhaps the credit would be given to me,
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although I am not sure if it would be proper to do so. And then, whoever made me
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make you write your dialogues would get credit in his world (seen from which, MY
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world looks fictitious).
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