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you in that danger."
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But Redhead whispered and nudged Tom about how shabby it would look to
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reneague the adventure. So he asked which way he was to go, and Redhead
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directed him.
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Well, he travelled and travelled, till he came in sight of the walls of
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hell; and, bedad, before he knocked at the gates, he rubbed himself
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over with the greenish ointment. When he knocked, a hundred little imps
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popped their heads out through the bars, and axed him what he wanted.
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"I want to speak to the big divel of all," says Tom: "open the gate."
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It wasn't long till the gate was thrune open, and the Ould Boy received
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Tom with bows and scrapes, and axed his business.
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"My business isn't much," says Tom. "I only came for the loan of that
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flail that I see hanging on the collar-beam, for the king of Dublin to
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give a thrashing to the Danes."
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"Well," says the other, "the Danes is much better customers to me; but
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since you walked so far I won't refuse. Hand that flail," says he to a
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young imp; and he winked the far-off eye at the same time. So, while
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some were barring the gates, the young devil climbed up, and took down
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the flail that had the handstaff and booltheen both made out of red-hot
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iron. The little vagabond was grinning to think how it would burn the
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hands o' Tom, but the dickens a burn it made on him, no more nor if it
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was a good oak sapling.
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"Thankee," says Tom. "Now would you open the gate for a body, and I'll
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give you no more trouble."
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"Oh, tramp!" says Ould Nick; "is that the way? It is easier getting
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inside them gates than getting out again. Take that tool from him, and
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give him a dose of the oil of stirrup."
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So one fellow put out his claws to seize on the flail, but Tom gave him
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such a welt of it on the side of the head that he broke off one of his
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horns, and made him roar like a devil as he was. Well, they rushed at
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Tom, but he gave them, little and big, such a thrashing as they didn't
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forget for a while. At last says the ould thief of all, rubbing his
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elbow, "Let the fool out; and woe to whoever lets him in again, great
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or small."
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So out marched Tom, and away with him, without minding the shouting and
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cursing they kept up at him from the tops of the walls; and when he got
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home to the big bawn of the palace, there never was such running and
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racing as to see himself and the flail. When he had his story told, he
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laid down the flail on the stone steps, and bid no one for their lives
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to touch it. If the king, and queen, and princess, made much of him
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before, they made ten times more of him now; but Redhead, the mean
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scruff-hound, stole over, and thought to catch hold of the flail to
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make an end of him. His fingers hardly touched it, when he let a roar
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out of him as if heaven and earth were coming together, and kept
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flinging his arms about and dancing, that it was pitiful to look at
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him. Tom run at him as soon as he could rise, caught his hands in his
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own two, and rubbed them this way and that, and the burning pain left
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them before you could reckon one. Well the poor fellow, between the
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pain that was only just gone, and the comfort he was in, had the
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comicalest face that you ever see, it was such a mixtherum-gatherum of
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laughing and crying. Everybody burst out a laughing--the princess could
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not stop no more than the rest; and then says Tom, "Now, ma'am, if
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there were fifty halves of you, I hope you'll give me them all."
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Well, the princess looked at her father, and by my word, she came over
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to Tom, and put her two delicate hands into his two rough ones, and I
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wish it was myself was in his shoes that day!
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Tom would not bring the flail into the palace. You may be sure no other
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body went near it; and when the early risers were passing next morning,
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they found two long clefts in the stone, where it was after burning
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itself an opening downwards, nobody could tell how far. But a messenger
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came in at noon, and said that the Danes were so frightened when they
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heard of the flail coming into Dublin, that they got into their ships,
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and sailed away.
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Well, I suppose, before they were married, Tom got some man, like Pat
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Mara of Tomenine, to learn him the "principles of politeness,"
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fluxions, gunnery, and fortification, decimal fractions, practice, and
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the rule of three direct, the way he'd be able to keep up a
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conversation with the royal family. Whether he ever lost his time
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learning them sciences, I'm not sure, but it's as sure as fate that his
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mother never more saw any want till the end of her days.
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MAN OR WOMAN BOY OR GIRL THAT READS WHAT FOLLOWS 3 TIMES SHALL FALL
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ASLEEP AN HUNDRED YEARS
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JOHN D. BATTEN DREW THIS AUG. 20TH, 1801 GOOD-NIGHT
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