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stringclasses 3
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stringlengths 11
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wocka
|
My doctor says I have insomnia, but I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.
|
My Doctor . . .
|
Medical
| 4
|
wocka
|
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
|
Hurdle!
|
Puns
| 4
|
wocka
|
I used facebook for a few days and got addicted to it.
I've been studying since I was 6. Why the hell am I not addicted to it?
|
Facebook
|
Tech
| 4
|
wocka
|
Cop to boy: Which of the two fighting in the street is your father?
Boy: I don't know. That's what they're fighting about!
|
Eenie Meenie . . .
|
Children
| 4
|
wocka
|
An actual sign outside a house:
The dog is okay. Beware of the owner
|
Funny Sign
|
Other / Misc
| 4
|
wocka
|
Whoever said nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door.
|
Impossible
|
One Liners
| 4
|
wocka
|
Santa Claus, a Boy Scout, and a smart blonde jump out of a plane. Who lands first?
The Boy Scout, because the other two don't exist.
|
Plane
|
Blond
| 4
|
wocka
|
Yo mommas so fat that when she got on the electric scales, it read one at a time please.
|
This is Majorly Funny!
|
Yo Momma
| 4
|
stupidstuff
|
Two blondes walk in to a building.You'd think one of them would have seen the building.
|
Blonde Jokes
| 4.6
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Why did the blonde jumped off the bridge?
Because she thought her maxi had wings!
|
Blonde Jokes
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
I knew a blond so stupid that when she read the "concentrat" on the orange juice container, she did.
|
Blonde Jokes
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
A good friend will bail you out of jail.A great friend will be in the cell next to you saying,"Damn, that was fun!"
|
Deep Thoughts
| 4.1
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Can a teacher give a homeless man homework?
|
Deep Thoughts
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
why does sour cream have an expiry date?
|
Deep Thoughts
| 4.5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Ever wonder why they use ABCDEF to define bra sizes?
A-Absent
B-Barely visable
C-Come in useful
D-Damn good
E-Enormous
F-Fantastic
|
Men
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
The ten things a guy knows about a girl:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. They have breasts.
|
Men
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Q:What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?A:A quater-pounder with cheese.
|
Women
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Q: What is in between an 80-year-old woman's breastA: Her belly-button
|
Women
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Q. What smells fishy and ends with untA. Rex Hunt
|
Women
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Q: How does Michael Jackson know it's time for bed? A: When the big hand touches the little hand...
|
Miscellaneous
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Santa?
Nothing, they both leave children's bedrooms with empty sacks!
|
Miscellaneous
| 4.5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Why did Raggedy Ann get kicked outta the toy box??? Because she sat on pinocchio's face and said "LIE TO ME! LIE TO ME!!!!"
|
Miscellaneous
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
There is a black man , and australian aborigine and a samoan in a car.Who is driving ???---- Police officer
|
Military
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
What do u call a Lesbian Dinosaur?A Lickalottapus
|
Miscellaneous
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Why don't afganistan's people teach sex ed, and drivers ed, on separate days?
answer: the camels can't take it all in one day.
|
Sex
| 4.67
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Why are eggs so frustrated?They only get laid once, eaten once, and you have to boil them to eat them hard!
|
Miscellaneous
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
What do George Bush, Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein have in common? English is their second language.
|
Political
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Q:What do you call something that is 12 inches long and hangs infront of an arsehole?A:Tony Blair's TIE!!
|
Political
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mamma so fat that when she wants people to shake her hand she has to give directions.
|
Yo Mama
| 4.8
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mamma so fat she broke a branch onthe family tree.
|
Yo Mama
| 4.29
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Your momma so dumb she studied for the drug test.
|
Yo Mama
| 4.67
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama so stupid she missed the 44 bus so she just took the 22 bus twice
|
Yo Mama
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama so stupid she heard it was chilly outside so she went and got a spoon
|
Yo Mama
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama so fat she tripped over 4th Ave. and landed on 12th Ave
|
Yo Mama
| 4.67
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama so fat people jog around her instead of the block, for a LONGER run!
|
Yo Mama
| 4.75
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama so fat the last time she saw 90210 it was on the bathroom scale
|
Yo Mama
| 4.5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo Mama so fat, when she put on high heels, she struck oil.
|
Yo Mama
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mamma so fat I drove aroundd her and ran out of gas
|
Yo Mama
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama is so ugly that she stuck her head out the window,and got arrested for disturbing the peace.
|
Yo Mama
| 4.5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama is so dumb that she shoved the phone up her ass, and thought that she was making a booty call.
|
Yo Mama
| 4.5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
yo mama so dumb when someone told her to speak her mind she was speechless
|
Yo Mama
| 4.5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo Mama So Dumb, that she put lipstick on her forehead so she could make up her mind.
|
Yo Mama
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama so old she saw Jurrasic Park and said that brings back memories.
|
Yo Mama
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama so fat you can hit her stomach and ride the waves!
|
Yo Mama
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama so dumb it took her an hour to make minute rice !
|
Yo Mama
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo Mama so fat that she filled up the tub and then turned the water on!
|
Yo Mama
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo Mama so poor she found a penny on the ground and said "I won the lottery!"(even though she still had to take out tax)
|
Yo Mama
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
yo mama so bald i can see what she thinkin
|
Yo Mama
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Your mama so fat that when she sat on a nitendo gamecube she changed it into a gameboy advance sp.
|
Yo Mama
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
yo mama so fat she got more chins than in the chinese phone book!
|
Yo Mama
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mamma sooo stupid, she clibed over a glass wall to see the other side!!!
|
Yo Mama
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo Mama is so Stupid she tried wakin up a Sleepin Bag.
|
Yo Mama
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama is so fat, when she walks down the street in a yellow rain suit everyone starts yelling "Taxi"
|
Yo Mama
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama so stupid she made up her own I.Q. test and failed it three times!
|
Yo Mama
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama is so fat, she entered an ugly contest and they said "no perfesonals aloud!"
|
Yo Mama
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama's so dumb,she brung a spoon to the SUPER BOWL!!
|
Yo Mama
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
yo mamma is so fat, Jesus can't lift her soul!
|
Yo Mama
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo Mama so poor..... I saw her walking down the street kicking a can, I asked her what she was doing and she said "moving".
|
Yo Mama
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo Mama so fat that she has to use a VCR as a pager.
|
Yo Mama
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama's so fat she makes shamu look like a tic-ticYo mama's so fat she went to Jenny Craig and the only thing she lost was $19.99
|
Yo Mama
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Ya mama so stupid, when she read on her job application not to write on botted line below she put "O.K"
|
Yo Mama
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama is so big she has her own zip code.
|
Yo Mama
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama stepped on a scale and it said one at a time please.
|
Yo Mama
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama so fat that when god said let there be light, he asked her to move over
|
Yo Mama
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mamma so fat that when she swims in the sea the whales start singing 'we are family'!
|
Yo Mama
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo mama is so fat that when she went dooky the whole world flooded & everyone had to live on a piece of poop!!
|
Yo Mama
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo Mama is so fat she had to iron her pants on the driveway.
|
Yo Mama
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
yo mamas breath so bad when she went to the dentist to get a filling the dentist had to give himself gas!
|
Yo Mama
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Yo Mama so dumb that she takes an hour to make minute rice.
|
Yo Mama
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
yo mama so stupid when asked "sex" on an application she put m, f and sometimes wednesdays, too.
|
Yo Mama
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.
|
Insults
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none.
|
Insults
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.
|
Insults
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more!
|
Insults
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Hey, act your age -- senile!
|
Insults
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
|
Insults
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
You're the best at all you do -- and all you do is make people hate you.
|
Insults
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
We know you could not live without us. We'll pay for the funeral.
|
Insults
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings.
|
Insults
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without your working so hard to give us another?
|
Insults
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
The thing that terrifies me the most is that someone might hate me as much as I loathe you.
|
Insults
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
When you get run over by a car, it shouldn't be listed under accidents.
|
Insults
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
You are the only person I've ever met whose mind is filthy and sterile at the same time!
|
Insults
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes!
|
Insults
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
You are so boring that you can't even entertain a doubt.
|
Insults
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
You are down to earth, but not quite far down enough.
|
Insults
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet!!
|
Insults
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
If you ever tax your brain, don't charge more than a penny.
|
Insults
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Look through your towels and tell us the name of the hotel you stayed at in Detroit.
|
Insults
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
You always have your ear to the ground. So how's life in the gutter?
|
Insults
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Heard your family went to a restaurant where they serve crabs just so they could bring you along.
|
Insults
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
You are pretty as a picture and we'd love to hang you.
|
Insults
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Someone said that you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs.
|
Insults
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!
|
Insults
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
I think you should live for the moment. But after that, I doubt I'll think so.
|
Insults
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Man alive! But I wish you weren't.
|
Insults
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
Is your name Maple Syrup? It should be, you sap.
|
Insults
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
You spent so much time trying to get rid of that halitosis that you had only to find out that you are not popular anyway.
|
Insults
| 5
|
|
stupidstuff
|
We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.
|
Insults
| 4
|
|
stupidstuff
|
There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.
|
Insults
| 4
|
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